I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
