He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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