i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
