she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
