i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
