yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
