shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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