yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize