Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize