She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
