There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize