I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
