Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
