I heard we made out
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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