He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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