Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
