did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
