Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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