Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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