Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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