I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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