Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
