Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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