He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
