You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
