dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
