It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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