Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
