he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
