You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize