Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
