Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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