it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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