when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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