Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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