then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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