accomplished twins. life is a go
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
