I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
