all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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