U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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