the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
