Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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