if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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