the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
