Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
bring money and cleavage
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
