yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Still dying that you shit outside
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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