i barfeds in our rink
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
