I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Do vagina's smell?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize