it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
