1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize