once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
