its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
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