ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
