You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize