id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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