Me too!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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