i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
