No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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