theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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