90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Sext me about skeletons
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
