This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
